Whenever I open it, I need to wait 30 minutes for it to update, before I can do anything. Has anyone at Gog thought about background updates instead of killing the experience with slow updates that stop people from actually playing anything?

30 minutes? Are you joking?

It takes seconds for the updates for me. Do you have really slow internet?

Have you considered opening Galaxy more than once every month, to perhaps rectify this?

That is weird indeed. My connection goes around 0.7Mbps fast when times are good, and yet Galaxy takes just seconds, no more than a minute at worst, to update.
I mean, if even I get updates fast with my horrendous connection, the issue must be elsewhere.

I've spent several months in the middle of nowhere on 33.6 kbit/s line, I know this could be a thing.. ; )
Changing your ISP provider would be the best solution, otherwise you have to be very patient..
For the time being you may start Galaxy with /runWithoutUpdating parameter and updating Galaxy with offline installers
Right click on Galaxy shortcut, select properties and add /runWithoutUpdating at the end of Galaxy path in the Target field.
You may also run Galaxy from the Run window or command line. Press and hold Win key, tap R key, type %PROGRAMFILES(X86)%\GalaxyClient\GalaxyClient.exe /runWithoutUpdating and press enter.

edit:
screenshot added

So my internet isn't fast... but it isn't painfully slow either. For example, Steam updates don't take long. Galaxy just takes forever to update. I updated it the last time I opened it (about two days ago) and then today. I had updates both times - each taking between 15 to 30 minutes.

Thanks mike_cesara for the suggestion! I might do that, but I'll see how things go for a bit longer.

Also, thanks for the suggestion Linko90.

If it makes you feel any better, it's still WAAAY better than Battle Net.