Posted April 08, 2021
*** Be warned, this historical document, like so many, contains much speculation. ***
Some of you may not realize this, probably most actually, that there was a time before the God Of Underpants existed. Hard to believe I know, but ancient scholars have investigated, and who are we to doubt them.
Those same scholars, also say there was a time before underpants existed too, which is even harder to imagine, especially if you belong to the sub-cult of the God Of Underpants, that believes humankind came into existence already wearing underpants.
Those amongst the wisest, have been speculating for some many centuries, that the Universe not only has a sense of humor, but creates something if enough people believe in it, and then gives it context. How good the context is, is both dependent on how many believe and how strongly.
So at some point, someone came up with the idea of underpants, and enough people decided it was good, and eventually many did and then someone speculated there could be a God Of Underpants, and mentioned it, and over time enough started to believe, and before we knew it, the God existed, and our underpants have been the better for it ever since.
Harking back to the first person who created underpants. She wasn't actually the first one, there was another, but history does not remember him kindly, having been dubbed as Stinky at the time, and soundly forgotten (to great relief) not much later ... though the smell lingered a while. It has been speculated, that Stinky attracted unwanted attention, and departed this mortal coil not much later.
Some of course, believe the God is a Goddess, and that is why Frilly Knickers happened. Others believe that the God is male, hence the existence of Y-Fronts.
The truth though, is that the God Of Underpants is of course an hermaphrodite. Both male and female, depending on the need or requirement.
Many of you will remember the Underpants Wars, spearheaded by the birth of Terry Towelling, in a hitherto unknown branch of the Pratchett family. Terry it is believed, is the son of the God Of Underpants, or maybe the daughter ... there is much speculation and argument about that. Some even claim, that Terry is the God personified. Some even claim further, that the God Of Underpants is the mother and father of us all.
Many of us of course, do our speculating and other business in the throne room, which adds a certain color and substance to many ideas about the God Of Underpants.
Various cultures around the world and probably the Galaxy, worship Terry, and none more so than Aussies with their favorite hats etc.
What is also well known, is that the more that believe, the better things about underpants will become - stronger, look nicer, smell nicer, leak proof, be softer, be thinner or thicker depending on the need.
But conversely, if enough people stop believing in the God Of Underpants, then they will start to not do their job as well ... unwanted leaks and holey visuals, staining, elastic giving out at the most inconvenient time, etc.
As many know, there are sub-cults of the God Of Underpants. Some want underpants to be sexy and sheer and almost show everything. Others want them to be the opposite. Some have obviously gone too far in both directions.
There are also those who believe in bombproof underpants, which rumor says were developed in the final stages of the Underpants Wars, but kept from most of us, hence the rumor. It is even claimed they saved the day, like underpants so often do.
Underpants are an integral part of our societies (Scotland and Hawaii excepted ... bloody heathens), and have experienced many revolutions since they first appeared.
Thank God for underpants ... I know I have a few times!
P.S. If you want to blame someone for the appearance of this historical document, then point your fingers soundly at @TheDcoder. He introduced me to Skips today, and started my mind down pathways I never knew existed, which resulted in the above.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCP_Foundation
Give me the wit and wisdom of Terry Pratchett and the Discworld any day, over the Skips, which seem some kind of poor man's Men In Black.
DEDICATED TO TERRY AND HIS FANS.
Some of you may not realize this, probably most actually, that there was a time before the God Of Underpants existed. Hard to believe I know, but ancient scholars have investigated, and who are we to doubt them.
Those same scholars, also say there was a time before underpants existed too, which is even harder to imagine, especially if you belong to the sub-cult of the God Of Underpants, that believes humankind came into existence already wearing underpants.
Those amongst the wisest, have been speculating for some many centuries, that the Universe not only has a sense of humor, but creates something if enough people believe in it, and then gives it context. How good the context is, is both dependent on how many believe and how strongly.
So at some point, someone came up with the idea of underpants, and enough people decided it was good, and eventually many did and then someone speculated there could be a God Of Underpants, and mentioned it, and over time enough started to believe, and before we knew it, the God existed, and our underpants have been the better for it ever since.
Harking back to the first person who created underpants. She wasn't actually the first one, there was another, but history does not remember him kindly, having been dubbed as Stinky at the time, and soundly forgotten (to great relief) not much later ... though the smell lingered a while. It has been speculated, that Stinky attracted unwanted attention, and departed this mortal coil not much later.
Some of course, believe the God is a Goddess, and that is why Frilly Knickers happened. Others believe that the God is male, hence the existence of Y-Fronts.
The truth though, is that the God Of Underpants is of course an hermaphrodite. Both male and female, depending on the need or requirement.
Many of you will remember the Underpants Wars, spearheaded by the birth of Terry Towelling, in a hitherto unknown branch of the Pratchett family. Terry it is believed, is the son of the God Of Underpants, or maybe the daughter ... there is much speculation and argument about that. Some even claim, that Terry is the God personified. Some even claim further, that the God Of Underpants is the mother and father of us all.
Many of us of course, do our speculating and other business in the throne room, which adds a certain color and substance to many ideas about the God Of Underpants.
Various cultures around the world and probably the Galaxy, worship Terry, and none more so than Aussies with their favorite hats etc.
What is also well known, is that the more that believe, the better things about underpants will become - stronger, look nicer, smell nicer, leak proof, be softer, be thinner or thicker depending on the need.
But conversely, if enough people stop believing in the God Of Underpants, then they will start to not do their job as well ... unwanted leaks and holey visuals, staining, elastic giving out at the most inconvenient time, etc.
As many know, there are sub-cults of the God Of Underpants. Some want underpants to be sexy and sheer and almost show everything. Others want them to be the opposite. Some have obviously gone too far in both directions.
There are also those who believe in bombproof underpants, which rumor says were developed in the final stages of the Underpants Wars, but kept from most of us, hence the rumor. It is even claimed they saved the day, like underpants so often do.
Underpants are an integral part of our societies (Scotland and Hawaii excepted ... bloody heathens), and have experienced many revolutions since they first appeared.
Thank God for underpants ... I know I have a few times!
P.S. If you want to blame someone for the appearance of this historical document, then point your fingers soundly at @TheDcoder. He introduced me to Skips today, and started my mind down pathways I never knew existed, which resulted in the above.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCP_Foundation
Give me the wit and wisdom of Terry Pratchett and the Discworld any day, over the Skips, which seem some kind of poor man's Men In Black.
DEDICATED TO TERRY AND HIS FANS.
Post edited April 08, 2021 by Timboli