This is a closed Forum Voyage (dungeon) game take-off of Doc's 2019 Enter my dungeon if you dare ... Northern Tunnel forum dungeon game. The Cursed Crew players have already signed on, this is the game thread, Part 2. The thread for Part 1 of this game can be found here - Voyage of the Cursed Crew. All are invited to enjoy reading the thread, but non-Crew (non-players) please refrain from posting comments in this thread during Action Events or Missions, to help both the players and myself to concentrate on the action and role play. You may post your observations in this thread. Thank you.

Helpful Links:
The Ship, deck plan
Voyage of the Cursed Crew - Part 1
Bhrigus Journal
A Pirate's Glossary of Terms
A Very Good Translator English to Pirate/Pirate to English

RULES OF THE SHIP (dungeon game) and HOW THIS WORKS: (Turns):
See Voyage of the Cursed Crew - Post 1, Rules and How This Works

RACE STATS: (yours may differ based on possible bonuses in your PM)
Human - standard | Half-elf +1 Agility, -1 Constitution
Dwarf - +1 Strength, Constitution; -1 Agility, Stealth | Half-Dwarf +1 Constitution; -1 Agility
Halfling - +1 Dexterity, Stealth; -2 Strength | Half-Orc +2 Strength; -1 Dexterity, Intelligence
Felinoid - +1 Agility, Stealth; -1 Constitution, Hates Swimming | Half-Mer - Good Swimmer/Breathe Underwater; -1 Constitution

SKILLS:
Some of you have a background skillset. This has been taken into consideration and may have resulted in rolled skills or bonuses listed in your Startup PM. I leave it up to each individual player whether they wish to reveal what was in their Startup (The dice of fate has spoken) PM or not, or how much, except for certain announced Shipboard skills that will become obvious anyway.

PMs: PM between players and GM must be kept open. Players may PM private questions, or ask publicly if they think it will benefit the game or fellow Crew. I will PM players if I need details or more info, unless I believe it will benefit the game or Crew. Certain players may get private info based on certain bonuses, skills or rolls. Info not to be revealed will be specified as such. Otherwise each player is free to decide what to reveal or not reveal according to their character and role play.

The Ship, deck plan

CURRENT NOTICES:

ANNOUNCEMENT:
Part 2 will be delayed until the next Pirate Day GA in September due to RL issues for half the Crew (and your GM). All current Crew spots as of the end of Part 1 will be reserved and some new spots will be available during the September Pirate Day GA for those who might like to come aboard. I will be tying things up for this part of the story after the interim posts by the Captain and a couple more Crew.

INTERIM ADVENTURES - What's happening?

Congratulations to Mighty, the Mighty Matey - voted Most Valued Pirate (MVP) by the Crew in Part 1!
Monkey is no doubt very proud! :D

GM Note to Crew: Please note that the schedule for turns is easing off to only twice a week instead of every other day to make it easier for us all. We will be easing back into things for the next week to give everyone time to post.

-----
MOST CURRENT ACTION RESULTS:
Chapter Four - Siren Song (Interim Break)
Mission 4 - Mission End

-----
CURRENT MISSION:
Chapter Four - Siren Song (Interim Break)

CURSED CREW LIST:

1. gogtrial34987 - Grog'tial (Abducted) - Half-Dwarf - Crossbow - paranoia
2. DiffuseReflection - Bellandra - Humanoid - Cutlass - fire
3. Lone_Scout - Argy - Halfling - Pan (Cudgel) - can't swim
4. matterbandit - Cap'n Barfdeck Rummyfangs (Spectral Crew) - Felinoid - Rapier - loud noises (except sea & ship's cannon)
5. babark - Captain Baldbeard - Dwarf - Cudgel - cold
6. bhrigu - Bhrigu (Departed) - Human - Saber - indecisive
7. LordKaylar - Aylar the Red Mane - Half-Elf - Cutlass - vengeful (& sober, which may be a weakness in pirate eyes)
8. tag+ - Larissa (Deceased) - Human - Dagger - skin condition (sun & over-dryness)
9. ssling - Count Klaus Karnstein - Human(?) - Saber - daylight, holy symbols (or so he believes), allergic to garlic
10. Pouyou-pouyou - Gilius - Dwarf - Staff (Cudgel) - black voodoo magic practitioners
11. Provide_A_Username - Foggy, The Whirlpool Machine (Lost) - Half-Orc - Cutlass - lack of judgement/easily manipulated
12. Mortius1 - Pugwash (Captured) - Dwarf - Crossbow - salt/saltwater
13. servobeupstry - Queen Origi (Deceased) - Halfling - Rapier - codependency/addiction to her Albatross Prince
14. phaolo - Durik (Captured) - Half-Orc - Cudgel - landsick
15. Sulibor - Mighty The Mighty Matey - Half-Orc - Cudgel - indecisive
16. aCyborg - Kyp Everswimmer - Half-Mer - Rapier - height
17. Devsea - Devin of Moonsea - Half-Elf - Rapier - the dreaming

CURSED WEAPONS:
1. (Argy) -12 Birthday Cupcakes (only 2 per time) - grenades, or set down to explode w/3 minute delay
2. 3 Patch Pirate Phantoms - Basket of Laundry, looks like patchwork rags - disguises as harmless, but smells close up
3. (Baldbeard) - Bosun's harmonica - summons spectral shark pack
4. (Durik) - Cannon - shoots captive or crew up to 20 meters
5. Great Cabin - Cat-o-9-Tails - squid tentacles to 3 meters
6. (Bellandra) - Clockwork Sextant - stops time for enemies 60 seconds
7. Fate yet to be determined - Conch seashell - (listen)Allows you to hear within sight, (blow)siren song mesmerizes enemies in range
8. (Mighty) - Crab claw - shield or strong pincer to grab and hold or crush
9. (Kyp Everswimmer) -Fish bowl - breathe underwater, teleports you to any water within sight
10. Penguin Figurehead - Eye patch - sees hidden (1 eye concentrate)/Invisibility 2 minutes (3 times only)
11. Penguin Figurehead - Glass eye - sees far, guaranteed shot for sharpshooter
12. Great Cabin - Harpoon gun - normal fishing, or shoot & reels in enemies or makes rope bridge
13. Stuck to the Mast - Hook hand - regular hook (but stronger), or grapple
14. (Karnstein) - Sailor's pipe - summons fog to hide (10 minutes) approx. 50'/15m radius
15. (Gilius) - Ship's Mast Staff - cudgel or entangle, bushes hide, Walk the Plank/Lightning Storm (3 times only)
16. (Aylar) - Silver Mirror Locket - portals you instantly anywhere within sight range
17. Penguin Figurehead - Trident - regular trident, or pins enemies to the ground

IN MEMORIAM: To those lost, we raise a Grog!
1. *Larissa - kamikaze charge, Mission 1, Denuvo; killed by vampirate ash
2. *Cap'n Barfdeck Rummyfangs - defiantly spit rumball into face of Necrodrider, Mission 2, Fortress; killed by necrotic poison
3. *Foggy - lost to the thirst for treasure, Mission 2, Fortress; influenced by the cursed gold
4. Queen Origi - under the influence of spores. Mission 3, Grung Village; killed by chief, finished by her own Force Missile.
5. Grog'tial - abducted by Shadowy Figure, Mission 4.
6. Bhrigu - departed the Ship for unknown shores end of Mission 4.
7. *Durik - captured while visiting his mother during Interim.
8. *Pugwash - captured while napping away from the Ship during Interim.

*Player request

CREW CURRENT INVENTORY:

Argy = 4 gold, 9 silver, 18 pieces of 8 / 6 cupcakes left (only 2 per Mission) / +1 Pan of Stunning / 2 knives / spoon / garlic pepper grinder / Book of fairy tales / Chef Jacket / Thief's Glove / Teak Slingshot / Abalone Shell (+10 Swim, Breath Underwater) / 1 Spiderclimb Oil / 1 Cure Disease / 1 Cure Poison Potion / 1 Heal Wounds Bandage / 1 holy water / Resist Evil Charm

Aylar = 4 gold, 13 silver, 16 pieces of 8 / Silver Mirror Locket / +1 Cutlass of Cutting / Sharp belt axe / 3 stakes / Fae Charm - Turn Necro/Magick Drain / Phoenix Charm - Resistances / a broken compass / a fine whittling knife w/silver runes / Fate thread / 1 Remote Viewing Potion / 1 Heal Potion / 1 Cure Disease Potion / 1 Cure Poison Potion / 1 Bandage / 1 holy water / a flask pure water

Bellandra = 4 gold, 11 silver, 12 pieces of 8 / Clockwork Sextant / Cutlass of Double Strike / Hand Crossbow w/2 bolts, 4 Hardened, 0 Explosive, 4 Stun Bolts / 4 stakes / 1 Fire Resist Potion / 1 Cure Disease Potion / 1 holy water / Rabbit's foot (Luck/Resist Evil)

Captain Baldbeard = 4 gold, 10 silver, 18 pieces of 8 / Harmonica / +1 dmg Cudgel / 2 stakes / Black Onyx (+1 Str/+1 Con; +10 Resist Cold/Disease/Weakness/Poison) / 1 Sleep Potion / 1 Heal Potion / tiny bell (Resist Evil) / Charmed Comb

Count Karnstein = 4 gold, 14 silver, 12 pieces of 8 / Fog Pipe / +1 Saber of Frostbite / tobacco / sun ointment / spider figurine / 1 Frost Breath Potion / 1 Heal Wounds Bandage / 1 Cure Disease / Resist Evil Charm

Devin = 2 gold, 10 silver, 4 pieces of 8 / +1 Rapier w/Moonstone / Silver Dagger / Moonbow / Silver Runed Lute / Rosewood Fey Flute / 1 Moonstone earring / black cat figurine / lockpick set / 2 vials lightsheen / 1 Heal Potion / 2 Heal Wounds Bandages / 2 Bandages / herb satchel / wine flask

Gilius = 4 gold, 10 silver, 18 pieces of 8 / Ship's Mast Staff / Eagle Feather RE charm / blowgun w/12 Needles / 1 stake / Quartz Pendant (cast Heal/Purify 3/Mission) / Druid's Orb +1 WIS, Weathercraft / Pet Rock / 1 Scroll of Revivify / Wand of Secrets (1 charge left) / 1 Flash Powder / 1 Frost Breath / 1 Heal Wounds bandage

Kyp = 4 gold, 10 silver, 22 pieces of 8 / Fishbowl Ability / +1 Rapier of Cold / Fishing Net belt, 8' / pouch of Blinding Powder / Bag of 2 Smoke Marbles / Turtle Charm +10 Turtles, +5 Def, Resist Evil / 1 Repel Zombies Potion / 1 Heal Wounds Bandage / 1 holy water

Mighty = 4 gold, 15 silver, 18 pieces of 8 / Crab Claw / +2 Mighty Cudgel of Crushing / a parrot (Cracker), a 3-headed monkey / Half-Orc Harbor Watch Leather Armor / Book, History of Monkey Island / set of 3 different sized lockpicks / 1 pig tusk earring / Monkey Charm = +1 Ag, +1 Dex + Resist Evil / 1 Fire Opal (unenhanced) / 1 Potion of Resurrection / 1 Bandage / 1 holy water

MERCHANTS ABOARD
(1 gold = 8 silver; 1 silver = 8 pieces of 8)

Refyx Fiddlemix: Alchemical Scientist & Tinkerer at your service - can make:
Limit - 1 item per order, 1 order per customer per Mission, 3 orders per day.
*Orders Available;
1 silver = Poison (single use 4 turns on blade or cudgel, or 4 bolts, lasts 1d6 turns vs Resist)
4 pieces of 8 = Weapon Oils (Fire, Acid, Frost - single use 4 turns on weapon, or 4 bolts) *do NOT work on elemental weapons
4 pieces of 8 = 2 Smoke Marbles (creates distraction/smoke cover in a 13' or 4m area, 1d4 turns)
4 pieces of 8 = 1 Flash Powder (shock and awe/blind and stun - 10' or 3m area for 1d4 turns vs resist)
4 pieces of 8 = 1 Oil of Spiderclimb (single use, climb any wall or ceiling for 1d4 turns, use glove/cloth wrapped hands)
2 pieces of 8ea = Explosive bolts (tiny Magic Missile - NOT on enemy next to Crew - exception Sharpshooter) - limit 5 per order
2 pieces of 8ea = Seeker bolts (50% greater chance to hit) - limit 3 per order
2 pieces of 8ea = Stun bolts (stuns creatures in a 10' or 3m area 1d4 turns vs Resist) - limit 3 per order

Aeshma: Healer & Witch - services offered:
Limit - 1 item per order, 1 order per customer per Mission, 3 orders per day.
*Orders Available;
Enhancements:
free = Purify water, milk, clear liquids - except liquors
2 pieces of 8 = Heal Potion
2 pieces of 8 = Heal Wounds Bandage
4 pieces of 8 = Cure Disease Potion
4 pieces of 8 = Cure Poison Potion
4 pieces of 8 = Sleep Potion
1 silver = Potion of Fire Breath
1 silver = Potion of Frost Breath
1 silver = Potion of Acid Resistance
1 silver = Potion of Cold Resistance
1 silver = Potion of Fire Resistance
2 silver = Potion of Poison Resistance
2 silver = Potion of Mental Resistance
3 silver = Potion of Necrotic Resistance
5 silver = Potion of Clairvoyence (Info from GM about your Luck Card or Hidden aspect of Mission.
5 silver = Magickal Gem enhancement (permanent)
1 gold = Spell casting/break curses

INTERIM - Where we left things:
Chapter Four - Siren Song (Interim Break)

The Ship is damaged. Admiral Clíodhna is missing. Most of the Crew are posted as Wanted Criminals and being sought with bounties on their heads. Grog'tial was abducted by the Shadowy Figure, to where is currently unknown to the Crew. Bhrigu has left for shores unknown on another Ship. Circeana has confessed to Captain Aylar in front of the remaining Crew. A new Crew Member named Devin has arrived, somehow summoned by Admiral Clíodhna just before she disappeared.

-----
Three days from the time Devin came aboard the Ship, Pugwash finally spotted Monkey Island from the Crow's Nest. Finally, the rest of the needed physical repairs could be made in a welcoming safe (for now) harbor. It had been slow and ponderous sailing as they had been escorted and shielded from sight by both Captain Jac's ship and the Dragon Turtle. Once they arrived, Count Karnstein was sure he could find and obtain the services of a certain dwarven shipwright and departed stealthily aboard a smuggler ship. Durik took another smuggler ship to visit his mother and Captain Baldbeard called in a favor owed and departed on a Brethren ship to try to locate and chase down the scent as he had promised Aeshma he would. The Monkey Island cannibals also offered to help Kyp with his Dragon Egg mission if he wished. All promised to be back and meet on Monkey Island in three months time.

Meanwhile Captain Aylar had stated (via PM) his intent to finish the physical repairs and resupply at Monkey Island while also picking up some offerings with which to secure a few nights docking at a sea wyrdling node where he could seek some magical assistance for magical repairs and any magical workings he might undertake while he also decided Circeana's fate. After that the Ship would return to Monkey Island to pick up returning Crew from their Interim adventures.


*Remaining Crew - please post any Interim adventures below*

Count Karnstein didn't hide his dismay about Aylar's ideas for fixing the ship and claimed to bring help of the "real professional". He managed to convince smuggler's captain to take him as the passenger and early in the morning boarded their ship, the Black Emanuelle, heading to the very city he left months ago...

-----

(I prepared three chapters covering this expedition, which I'm sure y'all can't wait to read, which I plan to post throughout next week, so stay tuned. If GM or others have any ideas for upgrading the ship etc., the character I'll bring could be used for that purpose, otherwise he'll just do some generic repairs or whatever.)

After sighting Monkey Island and seeing to his chickens and cow one last time, Pugwash goes off to explore the island.

In one of his characteristic and unseemly long naps, he was surrounded and captured. This seemingly safe harbour was not what it appeared. In truth, he never got over the revelation that he was dead and preserved forever by salt.

Pugwash will take no further part in this voyage.

-------------------------

Pugwash was a bad pirate. Mortius1 was a bad player. Mortius1 is a bad person.

I apologise for taking so long to make my intentions known. I’ve since realised how I struggled through the original voyage, making mistakes and having a chronic tendency to overlook instructions. My inability to communicate and be punctual was becoming apparent and has only intensified.

Sorry to see ye go, matey. I do not think Pugwash was a bad pirate, nor is Mortius1 a bad person at all. I hope life eases up for you. Thanks for being a part o' the Crew for Part 1.

GM Note to Crew: Please note that the schedule for turns is easing off to only twice a week instead of every other day to make it easier for us all. We will be easing back into things for the next week to give everyone time to post.

Kyp after getting over the fact that he was IN FACT not wanted by the local authorities and did not have his handsome face plastered on every billboard in port decided it would a good idea to start on getting the dragon turtle egg to the hatching grounds.

Kyp goes onto the ship and grabs all eggs then reaches out his mind and communicates to all "Nice" sea creatures asking if there is anyone who would like to go on a fun trip and travel to an island with him.

(roll dice) A pod of playful porpoises soon answered Kyp's call. Quickly weaving three nets from rope found in the Ship's storage, Kyp placed each Dragon Turtle Egg in a net and several porpoises took each net to tow the eggs. Finn, the wooden seahorse came along to help guard the eggs and in case Kyp wanted to ride him.

(roll dice) They were a day away from the hatching grounds when Finn warned Kyp they were being tailed by a large shark which was coming closer. (roll dice) The porpoises had been trading off towing duties and several of them began to prepare to hassle and attack the shark if it attacked, but waited to see what Kyp wanted them to do.

Chapter I

Outside of the port, which was always busy, city seemed mostly asleep with the exception of areas in the vicinity of its popular brothels, such as: The Wet Dock, The Treasure Chest, The Pantless Mermaid, The Crimson Lighthouse, or The Sirens' Lair. Other than that, only a few strumpets, drunkards, beggars and various shady looking characters could be seen sporadically wandering its streets. To the latter group could be included a hooded figure deliberately choosing only the darkest streets to traverse. Person this moved swiftly and confidently, clearly knowing where to go. After all, was using this routes for years.
Finally stopped across the three-story, grey-stone townhouse in the district that definitely had its best days behind. Even though there were no street lights, hooded figure could clearly see broken windows and door marked with white "X" from across.

Gloved hand was just reaching for the door handle when suddenly a raspy voice broke the silence: "'Tis 'im! Get 'im, boys!" Three shady looking characters came out from behind the corner. A human, or perhaps half-elf, owner of the raspy voice, with a long scar across the face and cutlass in hand. A dwarf with a chipped axe, mumbling some unrecognizable gibberish and barely able to walk straight. A huge orc, also mumbling some unrecognizable gibberish but walking very confidently, armed with a steel morgenstern. Hooded figure ducked under the morgentern, which hit the door instead, and dashed to the middle of the street, unsheathing the saber and facing the enemies. Dwarf started his furious charge but, due to potholes in the street and booze in the bloodstream, lost his balance halfway through, and hooded figure seized the opportunity to tip him over with a kick to the teeth and finish the job with a blade to the heart. By this time orc managed to rip his morgenstern from the grasp of the door, but the moment he turned around his throat got slashed wide open. Big lad gargled ghastly, stepped ahead and suddenly collapsed, crushing hooded figure under his mass. While hooded figure struggled to get up, the raspy voice owner came over with cutlass in one hand and wanted poster in the other, reaching slowly with cutlass to remove the hood. He stopped when unexpected movement in the back distracted him. Thug turned around and the last thing he saw in his short and worthless life was a huge, scary spider creeping on the wall before jumping right on him.

Inside of the house seemed utterly ransacked. Moonlight falling in through the kitchen window was casting shadow of a person which hooded figure could see from the hallway and approached with caution. It was a man called Igor, former caretaker of the house, now hanging miserably by his neck. Nothing could help him now. Hooded figure found a single unstolen spoon and took it to the drawing room. There found a loose stone in the floor and used a spoon to pry it out. Underneath was a small chest which contained: a dagger with ornamented handle and thin, wavy blade; eight gold rings with big gemstones, each of a different color; an exquisite silver rose; some papers; and two pouches full of coin. After a moment of hesitation hooded figure hit the wooden panel on the nearby wall, smiled, and took out bottle of fine rum from hidden compartment. With the bottle and the chest proceeded to exit but after a few steps outside realized something was wrong. Soldiers with heavy crossbows surrounded hooded figure.

"Don't do anything stupid. We need to talk," said a familiar voice. "What exactly are you thinking, Karnstein? Or was it Cage? See, we took some interest in your past. And we can't quite figure you out," he drawled in a fake bored tone. The person came to stand right before the hooded figure - who actually was Count Karnstein all along! It was Beckett, former commander of DRM-Alliance's fortress who had disappeared during the assault. "Why are you doing all this? What business could you possibly have in working with this pathetic bunch? As far as I can see - none at all. That's right. Oh, you were bored, were you not? Fair enough, that reason is as good as any. But why are you wasting your potential like that? Tell me, are you truly satisfied with what you've got?" - There was no answer. Beckett shrugged and continued. "'Cause everything tells me, what we can offer would be much more to your liking, not to mention: more beneficial. The Aboleth is cruel and merciless to his enemies, but he knows how to take care of and reward those useful and loyal to him. You could be an actual, proper count for example. A respected one. For the first time you could be an actual noble, elevated above the riffraff. Not a common cutthroat using a fake title to sound more imposing, nor a funny loser nobody treats seriously. We need strong, reliable people to keep power and influence over this area. Think about it, think it over. We won't stop you now, we have no use for you now, yet we might have later. But it's a one-time offer. If we meet next time, you'll have to decide. And if you decide to join us, you better be ready to have some proof of your commitment." Beckett waved his hand dismissively to his men. "Let him go!"

Soldiers stepped back, still aiming their crossbows, and hooded figure went away, soon disappearing behind the nearest corner.

-----

Count Karnstein was on the last stretch of road leading to the harbor when he turned into particularly dark and smelly alley. There he knocked arranged pattern on the back door to the basement of Good Ol' Games' tavern. Mister Games - proprietor of this establishment - opened the door, glanced at the Count and with casual gesture invited him in. Inside was dark and air was thick with a smoke. The only source of light was an oil lamp hanging over round table in the far corner. At the table sat three smugglers, playing cards, smoking and drinking grog.

- All's done. Ready when you are, gentlemen. Next stop: the Devil's Island. It ain't far.
- We know where it is, alright. But ye didn't mention anythin' 'fore, mate. We operate on a pretty tight schedule, y'know.
- Aye, aye. Don't fret. I'll cover your expenses.
- Well... if that's the case, we can see what could be arranged. Say, friend, how 'bout a small foretaste of what ye got there, eh? Care fer a round o' Gwent?

Count sat down, putting a pipe in his grinning mouth. "With pleasure, gentlemen, with pleasure."

-----

Sun was already up when four hooded figures left the Good Ol' Games' tavern through the back door and went towards the harbor. In the meantime, local undertaker was just getting out of bed. While preparing breakfast he noticed an envelope under the front door. Inside he found few coins and a written request of providing a service for a hanged man located in a certain house.

To be continued...

Ah don't put yourself down too much.
I was pretty bad at getting the details and keeping up with the game too.

Neither of you were bad. The game turns in Part 1 were only 48 hours long and we are doing a forum game with many non-English native speaking players. Your GM just didn't have time to check the translators every time to make sure the information and instructions were clear. :P Please don't hesitate to ask if something does not seem clear or translate well.

Quoting from Posts 1053 and 1054 in original game thread: Devin bowed with a flourish again as the human phantom form of Captain Jac took her leave. Play nice indeed. Ye just told me ye are not my captain, Lady Jac, so ye will not be telling me how to be. He straightened and turned to Aylar. Her Captain, and Fae. Devin bowed his head in more formal acknowledgement, his eyes more intense as he took in Aylar with a Fae's curiosity now. Hers. But the ship has no heart. Stretching the rules again are we, M'Lady? Devin be game, let's see where this goes.

"Captain Aylar. Do ye be having answers for me or do ye be having questions? How long ago be telling me just how far behind I be, when I need See and what sources I be needing. The where from she be gone may be having an essence yet left, a tale left untold. Who, that should be apparent if be known. The last to see her may be having intel as yet unrealized and I be good at drawing that out, Captain." His voice became low and quiet, pitched for Elven ears as he switched to the Elvish language. "M'Lady called me for a reason, Captain. I take it I be meant to help ye, and I be very good at what I do. I do be charming and my music mesmerizing, but I also be yer way into impossible places, yer eyes and ears where none expect me, yer walker of shadows and blade in the night. Set me my task or give me reason why not."

---------
OOC: Aylar - Our Fair GM tells me you're an avid RPGer so I left this open for you to RP. She says you're pulling long hours at work currently so if you want to keep it simple and just say the Captain told me what he knew and sends me off, that's fine too. I'll use whatever you want to do and take it from there.

Chapter II

Contrary to its ominous name, Devil's Island was about the most plain and boring place imaginable. Small rocky island with only point of (dubious) interest in the form of a fishing village. Though due to being located not far from the big city, and in a consequence major trading routes, village was prospering quite well, maintaining stable population and seeing regular visitors.

When they were approaching a pier in a rowboat they couldn't see a single person anywhere despite a few fishing boats and one bigger vessel docked in the harbor. The only living thing that came to welcome visitors was a single seagull, and it wasn't a warm welcome. In fact, crazy bird straight up attacked the boat and was doing it so fiercely that eventually they had to knock it down with an oar.

Count Karnstein and two smugglers left the boat and moved up village's main road, still not seeing anybody. Suddenly bone-chilling, indescribable howl, neither human nor animal, tore up the air. Second later, what was looking like a naked man with shaggy hair and pure insanity in the eyes, stood in the door of a house down the road and, with the same howl, rushed at them. It was moving with remarkable speed and agility, dashing from one side of the road to the other. When it was right before the dumbstruck visitors, it jumped, somersaulting above them, grabbing one of the smugglers by his head, and throwing him to the ground. Next it ran to the side and jumped on the wall, using it to get momentum for another attack. Only this time they were ready and soon aggressor was running away with one less arm, and only thanks to the unbelievable pirouette managed to save his life.

They didn't have time to say anything when many more howls echoed in the village and movement could be seen all around. "O'er here, ye wankers! Run if ye want t'live!" - someone yelled from the large building up the road, and they didn't need to be told twice. Sign above entrance said: "D'Amato's Hardware Store 'n' Repaire Shop". The last "e" in the word "Repaire" looked like someone ineptly tried to simultaneously scratch it off and paint over, sabotaging each effort.

Inside were a few villagers, who promptly barricaded the door, and a bald dwarf with short (for a dwarf) grey beard and an eye patch. He looked at Count with eye and mouth wide open and said:

- By my grandfather's bollocks! Cap'n Klaus?! But ye 'avenae changed a bit... Anyways, I would ne'er expect t'be 'appy seein' this mug again! Next ye tell me ye came 'ere t'sort out that long o'erdue payment ye owe me.
- Good to see you too, D'Amato. You know, I may just came for that indeed. Not even joking. But first, what in the bloody hell is going on here?
- Long story short... I mean this is nae long story however ye'd look, so... regular story short, I guess? Short story shorter? Oh, sod it, it's a short story, alright. 'Bout week ago we had a travelin' halfling circus troupe stoppin' by t'fix the sails aft storm...
- I love halfling circuses!
- Yeah, well, who doesn't. So, in the evenin' they wanted t'give us some entertainment. Such a wholesome idea, I even brought a hooch I was cookin' yesteryear. Then, when we got soused a bit, halflings were eager t'show us their latest acquisition. A month prior they catched a rat-monkey an' were teachin' it tricks 'n' stuff. Y'know rat-monkeys? Nasty bastards, bitin' everythin'. But clever, they say.
- Aha! I can see where it's going. Filthy critter had rabies...
- Nay! Nay! 'Twas bitin' them hobbits fer weeks an' nothin' bad 'appened. 'Sides they've put a muzzle on it. 'Twas that stupid Luigi, local color, y'know. We were playin' thimblerig an' he got mad by losin' to the rat-monkey. First time he threw a stone at it, then he kicked it, then the rat-monkey got pissed an', well, pissed in Luigi's tankard. Then he grabbed it an' bit it! Real good, 'twas bleedin' an' all. Then Luigi got sick an' went home. Next mornin' Luigi bit his wife, an' she bit a milkman when Luigi went t'work, an' then milkman bit butcher's wife. Then I cannae tell who was bitin' whom anymore, but we are where we are, waitin' fer some bloody rescue. Only we are still sane. An' whole island is now o'errun by rat-monkeys, man-monkeys, woman-monkeys, halfling-monkeys, dog-monkeys, cat-monkeys, rabbit-monkeys, squirrel-monkeys, pig-monkeys, cow-monkeys, donkey-monkeys...
- I get the picture. Dwarf-monkeys, chicken-monkeys, seagull-monkeys...
- Nay! Nay! I'm the only dwarf on the island. An' birds... birds are in fact lizards. With feathers. How lizard could be a monkey? LIZARDS CANNAE BE MONKEYS, YE MORON!
- Yeah, but when we arrived... nevermind - Count looked at the smugglers and shrugged with resignation. - What can we do?
- Well... I was workin' on this miniature flyin' machine in my spare time, li'l side project o' mine. Since we stuck 'ere, I made a few... adjustments but it ain't tested yet. As a matter o' fact, ye might just solve this issue. These folks 'ere ain't no warriors. Come, I'll show ye.

What was showed looked like a peculiar type of armor with mostly open front, except what resembled a welding helmet for the head. On the back was heavy looking furnace, bulbous metal tank above it, and numerous valves and pipes connecting it with pistons on the limbs. Most notable parts, though, were the attachments ending both arms: two large, circular shields with wide blade fixed to each of their centers.

"It's foolproof. We fasten ye securely with them straps, then we fire the furnace up and I will operate the valves. The only thing ye need to know is to pull triggers with yer fingers to activate these rotatin' blades. Of course it's heavy as hell but worry not! All these pistons will allow ye t'move with ease like a greased-up naked ballerina on diet. Ye just push the button under ye thumb to enable movement assistance an' machine will do the rest. Heat might be a problem though, se we better do this fast. Just go to the dock an' shred everythin' that moves. Easy as catchin' a clap in The Pantless Mermaid. We will follow ye closely."

Count didn't even have time to protest when he found himself strapped to the grotesque contraption, and D'Amato was shoveling coal to the furnace. After a while engine on the back started vibrating and hissing, D'Amato turned some valves and steam gushed out. "Go, lad!" Doors opened, Count pushed the button and began walking. Slowly, clumsily and not entirely without effort, but very steadily. He was about halfway to the dock when heard the howling, now muffled by helmet and working engine. Dog-monkey, most likely, ran right at him when he pulled the triggers and blades started rotating with immense speed. Dog-monkey didn't see it coming and shortly got obliterated into red mist. Assured that it might actually work, Count pushed forward. What he could see through narrow visor were mostly man-monkeys and woman-monkeys, also couple halfling-monkeys or child-monkeys - it's hard to say. All getting grinded to a pulp instantly or bouncing off with terror and missing body parts. Few times something jumped on his back, causing Count to panic momentarily and think he'll fall over, but armor was too heavy to topple and whatever it was, soon fled with a terrible shriek, burned by the hot furnace. At this point Count knew only that he was already in the harbor and that his back is getting dangerously hot. He couldn't see anything through all the blood and guts on the visor and was afraid he could fall in the water if he'll move further so mostly was turning in place, but it seemed like he wasn't under attack anymore. "Stop, lad! Ye did it! Let me release ye an' let's scram. We are already waitin' on the boat."

Count, D'Amato and two smugglers took a rowboat to the ship while surviving villagers used one of the fishing boats to get to the city.
- One thing I don't quite get. How the hell did y'all survived this pandemonium, hiding behind me while they were coming from all sides, and there ain't even a drop of blood on you?
- Bah! We were ne'er 'hind ye, dimwit. We used a tunnel. Ye were a decoy, 'sides I needed t'test the prototype. It turned out better than expected.
- I see...
- Now tell me 'bout that payment with 30 years worth o' interests, kid. I'm all ears.

To be continued...