Banned for being a soy sauce lover.

Banned because when you first bit into Pizza Hut's deep-dish, you fantasized about diving into a giant version as though it were a pool.

^ banned for slowly sinking into a Pizza Hut® deep-dish pizza, just as so much quicksand

Banned for banning me for something that my teeth have done.

Banned for not suing your dentist.

Banned because that would be overkill for the bullshit they pulled recently.

I was called in for an appointment and then told that my health insurance hasn't given them permission to work on me. No worry, they'll never need to get permission because I'm never going back.

^ banned, it is a defense to the prosecution when felonious assault with perfect teeth is committed by the patient, not the dentist

Banned for blatantly ignoring the Dracula clause of the 1862 dental assault liability act.

Banned because that's only applicable under Transylvanian jurisdiction.

^ banned for impaling him with the truth like a bug in your collection

Banned for collecting an impaling bug which likes the truth.

Banned for not handling the truth.

Banned for thinking you know what I can handle and worse, that it has any bearing on whether or not you should say it in court.

^ banned for having Dan Fielding as your attorney.

^ banned for fielding Dan as your shortstop