I'm so poor, I could be one of the four yorkshiremen when they were still young.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13JK5kChbRw

... but you tell the young people of today that, they won't believe you ...

Nothing to see here

I'm so poor my desktop is still running Windows 95.

I'm so poor I can't even afford to pay attention

I'm so poor, I can't even pay you a compliment.

I'm so poor, I eat cereal with a fork to save milk.

I'm so poor I always leave the doors open hoping that burglars come and leave something behind.

I'm so poor my 1995 Mercury car has sat for months in the driveway because I cannot afford to fix the brakes on it and while it has sat there, now the battery has gone dead too.

/cry

I'm so poor i take the trash IN.

I just finished eating my dinner - we had ear wax and toenail clippings. We don't usually eat this good.

I was assassinated by commandos, and my ghost is haunting my computer. And I'm a lovable bunny rabbit.

I'm so poor I can't even buy a companion to my bread and I eat it plain :/

My wealth level is so low that I become rich for integer underflow

I had to trade in more than half my PS3 games to pre-order Mass Effect 3.

This. Mighty poor.