BUMP!

Also, I edited my entry to include the dialogue. I hope you like it! ;)

John - Hey, I just came back from my two week vacation in the Death Star. It was nice. I got Darth Vader's autograph. But I think when I was there, I also got herpes after getting drunk and having a one night stand with a sexy female Stormtrooper.

Joe - Really? You should go to the doctor. I also just came back from a 2 week vacation. I was in Slovenia. It was nice until I got attacked by a bunch of fucking bears in the wilderness. Fortunately, before they were going to rip me to 100 pieces, Gandalf appeared and scared them away with his magic. From this day forth though, I will never be in the wilderness without a machine gun or an elephant gun. Better safe than sorry.

Bob - Cool, I didn't know Gandalf lives in Slovenia but considering Slovenia is the third most forested country in Europe, it makes sense. The man obviously loves forests. I just came back from my one week vacation. It was crazy. I was at a restaurant and ordered a cup of mango juice. I found a nose hair in it so I complained to the waiter. The waiter told me "If I don't like it, don't drink it" so I had to punch him in the face. He then told me after seeing blood coming from his nose "He is going to murder me:" then unleashed his Kung Fu on me. Fortunately, I know Kung Fu too so I fought back and kicked his ass. Then all the other waiters attacked me and I had to kick all their asses. Then eventually, the restaurant become filled with smoke. And then slowly the doors to the kitchen opened. I saw a 7 foot tall Chef who looked like Goro from Mortal Kombat without the extra arms. He said in a deep intimidating voice "victory is mine, prepare to die" then charged towards me. I was scared because he looked indestructible and then realized that there was one way for me to beat him. I stood my ground until he was right in front me and kicked him in the nuts. "victory is mine, bitch" I said to him while he was on the ground crying.



My order of preference ;)

Deponia
Deponia 2: Chaos on Deponia
Etherlords
S2: Silent Storm Gold Edition
Nox
Theme Hospital
SimCity 2000™ Special Edition
Rayman Forever
Rayman 2: The Great Escape
Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc

Frodo : "Pippin! Dont use Gandalf the Grey's favorite long stem pipe full of mango pipeweed. Are you crazy?! You know he likes to get drunk after a victory celebration and frequents the prozzies, it probably is laced with herpes!"

Pippin: "Your right! I'll use my trusty pipe i acquired at the marketplace made of elephant bone and the bowl is shaped like the Death Star, but ill still be nicking some of his mango weed."

Frodo : "Fair enough. The wizard wont pull a machine gun on you or drop a ball of fire like those fucking bears he unleashed murder on last night. His supply of weed is nearly indestructible. Speaking of indestructible where has Gollum hidden himself off to? Whats the plan for locating him"

Samwise : "We've tracked him down to the Škocjan Caves in Slovenia, and our plan to lure him out of hiding is we are going inside the caves, then having one of the biggest second breakfasts ever! The aroma of food will surely draw him out, especially the dessert course . . . Prekmurska gibanica."

Pippin : "A sound plan, Sam."

Samwise : "But before all that Mr. Frodo you need to cut your nose hair, its nearly a fucking dwarfish beard."

---

in for:
Deponia 2: Chaos on Deponia
Deponia

congrats on the 1000+ milestone
thanks for hosting a giveaway!
+1

Right, one more BUMP before bed.

Congratulations on the milestone, Titanium! ;p

Congratulations on 1000! Thanks and +1 for the giveaway!

Stormtrooper 1024: Man, some crazy f*cking bears gave me herpes behind the marketplace.
Stormtrooper 1099: Gross man, trim your nose hair. You're starting to look like Gandalf, but crazy. This is the indestructible Death Star, not some county on a planet in a galaxy far, far away like Slovenia or Germany or Albuquerque...
Stormtrooper 1024: Well, after I finish my mango, I'm going to go get drunk and murder an elephant with my machine gun.
Stormtrooper 1099: Victory!


My order of preference:
S2: Silent Storm Gold Edition
Rayman Forever
Rayman 2: The Great Escape
Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc

Thanks again!

Etherlords
S2: Silent Storm Gold Edition
Rayman 2: The Great Escape
Rayman Forever




Here you go, I tried to make the characters relatable...


Average Joe A -DId we ever get a final death toll from the explosion of the death star after all those terrorists murdered the empires finest?

Fucking bears - GRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*machine gun noise

Average Joe B - Did...did you just fire mangoes out of a machine gun at those fucking bears!!??

Average Joe A- Not a chance joeb, we're just drunk.

Average Joe B - Oh...well then what's that smell?

Average Joe A - Sweet, sweet victory my friend. Sweet, sweet victory.

Hunter1: What's the biggest animal you ever hunted ?
Hunter2: On my hunting trip in Slovenia I was attacked by a drunk elephant. He seemed nearly indestructible. I had to use a machine gun and shoot until the whole magazine was empty.
H1: Do you have any proof of your glorious victory ?
H2: I wanted to take his head as a trophy with me but suddenly fucking bears appeared and ate him.
H1: You're so crazy that my nose hair curls, next time you'll be telling me that you're working for Gandalf cutting nose hair on the Death star.
H2: I accidentally met him on the marketplace buying mango to make a cure for herpes ...
H1: You murder the truth ...


order of interest:

1)Deponia
2)Deponia 2
3)S2: Silent Storm Gold Edition
4)-10) the rest

Congrats on your kilorep. Giving you some moar +rep in order to help you reach the 4th power. :D

I'll be joining, if you don't mind. In order of preference: Deponia, Deponia 2, Theme Hospital and Rayman Forever.

And here's my contribution:

StarForce: Oh hey, there comes Securom.
Securom: Sup guys.
TAGES: Sup. What's new?
Securom: I just crapped another one. Made him waste his activations like a machine gun. I'm such a boss!
StarForce: Hah, that's nothing. I bet I have destroyed more legit buyers than Death star has destroyed planets. I'm fucking indestructible!
Securom: What a lame victory boast, man. Too weak.
StarForce: Oh shut up.
TAGES: ...There was this one time I was in a marketplace in Slovenia to buy some mango, but I ended up getting so drunk I thought I was seeing this elephant fucking bears. Then Gandalf showed up and went on a murder spree, killed all of them elephants and bears. Though I was more freaked out on this herpes-filled hooker that was just watching the whole thing while doing a customer in the middle of the street. She had the most disgusting nose hair I have ever seen. And once I got home and my buzz had finally worn off, I totally blocked this one dude from playing his Anno. Oh yeah.
StarForce: ...Man, you're too damn crazy.
Securom: Oh, great, look who's here...
GfWL: Hey gaiz!

Here's my entry

A: After finishing the miniature of the Death star, my new project is building a wax statue of Gandalf.
B: First. This statues are awfull they look like they have herpes and are drunk. Second, you're crazy. Where do you get the wax?
A: From the marketplace like you buy a mango I buy wax from Slovenia. The final touch will be the head hair and nose hair from fucking bear.
B: What! that's a murder. It-s like killing an elephant with a machine gun. I will sabotage your statue!
A: No! it will be indestructible! Victory will be mine.

In order of preference
Nox
Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc
Rayman 2: The Great Escape
Rayman Forever
Etherlords

Thanks Titanium

1. I was browsing the GOG forums today; you know, the marketplace of drunk ideas?
2. Yeah, this guy from Slovenia is taking a machine gun to murder the "I'm drunk thread".
1. Sure, he's crazy, but at times he's sweet like a mango. But also, like herpes, he'll keep coming back again and again.
2. Sometimes it's hard to achieve victory against an indestructable fool. I suppose we have to acknowledge the elephant in the room and agree the only thing getting rid of this guy is a Death Star.
1. Or Gandalf the Grey! Or is it White? Gandalf fucking bears a remarkable resemblence between the two.
2. It's easy to remember; White Gandalf braids his nose hair into his beard. Grey doesn't.

In order of preference:
S2
Etherlords
Nox
Deponia
Deponia 2

I would re-gift the rest, or you can give them to someone else. Happy GOG millenium!

'That reminds me of that one time I was in Slovenia. Some drunk dude that looked like Gandalf was riding on an elephant for some reason waving his machine gun around in the air as if he was some kind of indestructible super hero celebrating a victory over an evil villain.'

'Dude... that's crazy! You were in Slovenia? But why?'

'I was visiting a friend - this Titanium fellow, you know, the one I was telling you about with the disgustingly long nose hair, the herpes, and that cool model Death Star? Remember those pictures I showed you of it? Anyway we were at the marketplace trying to find some mangoes when that drunk guy showed up.'

'Mango?'

'Yeah I know, Titanium wouldn't shut up about the mangoes over there and how great they are. I was almost ready to murder him, but you know what, he was kind of right - those are some goddamn tasty mangoes.'

'Anything else good besides mangoes over in Slovenia?'

'Hmm... not really, no. Saw a couple of brown bears, but that turned out to be bad because I almost died. I mean, Titanium actually did get mauled to death, so good thing I'm faster than him I guess.'

'Fucking bears!'

'Fucking. Bears.'

--------

Just Deponia 2 for me.

Thanks for your giveaway!!!

Count me in. I enter for S2: Silent Storm Gold Edition.

This is my dialog (it's between a policeman and a citizen):

- Does the suspect have herpes and do his nose hair stick out of his nose?
- Are you crazy? He's from Slovenia, he's huge as and elephant and he buys mangos at the near marketplace. Aside from his size his skin is silky smooth and I didn't notice any hare in his nose. :/
- He is a murder suspect, I don't care where he's from, I wouldn't even care if he was Gandalf from the Death Star.
- I don't think he did it.
- As I said, I don't care what you think. Did you ever see him drunk? Does he have a gun maybe?
- Ohh suuure. He has a basemanet full of machine guns and when he gets drunk he wrestles with some fuckin bears. He is indestructible and all his fights end up in victory.
- You're not helping. We will contact you if we have any further questions.
- Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Thanks for this fantastic giveaway. +1

I have none of the mentioned games, and they all look fun, so I'll appreciate anything that comes along...and now, with apologies to T.H. White, Tolkien, and you-know-who, and anyone who reads the entire thing...without further ado...


Gandalf: What's up, fellahs?
Wart: Oh, GANDALF, I'm glad you're here. He's off and DRUNK the wrong potion again...

Merlin: To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in SLOVENIA to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous NOSE HAIR,
or take arms against a MARKETPLACE of INDESTRUCTIBLE FUCKING BEARS,

Gandalf: Oh, Ilúvatar, not again...Can't you shut him up?
Wart: I was hoping you had a way.
Gandalf: You'd think he would remember what happened last time...oh, yeah, maybe not...

Merlin: and by opposing them MURDER them? To die:to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The CRAZY MANGO and HERPES
that flesh is heir to, tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: aye, there's the rub;

Wart: Gandalf, for heavens sake, Please!
Gandalf: Alright, I have just the ticket. Vader was making fun of my beard the other day, so...
(Waves Wand, spouts gibberish)

Merlin: For in that sleep of VICTORY what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's MACHINE GUN, the proud man's ELEPHANT,
The pangs of despised love, ....

POOF

Gandalf: We'll let the minions of the Death Star deal with him this time...well, i'm off to have tea with a midge...err, a hobbit of my aquaintance...see ya later, Wart, I'm sure he'll make his way back when he recovers, unless he takes too long...

Congratulations! Here's my dialogue..

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....
Rebal A: Hey, Gandalf, what's with a machine gun? You going to murder someone?
Rebel B: Oh, I'm going to the marketplace to get some mango pie.. You can't be too careful around there..
Rebel A: Yea.. that's true.. You heard what happen to the Death star? I thought that thing's indestructible...
Rebel B: What? What happened?
Rebel A: Some rookie kid from Tatooine blow it right up in a x-wing.. The video is all over Galnet..
Rebel B: Oh.. I can't afford the connection to Galnet now.. I lost my paycheck betting on an elephant race last week..
Rebel A: Why? I don't know you gamble...
Rebel B: I got this tip from that crazy drunk doctor.. He said it's a sure thing... But that elephant named Victory didn't even come close to winning...
Rebel A: You got a tip from the herpes doctor? What planet is he from? I can't stop staring at that nose hair thing on his face...
Rebel B: Yes.. that doctor.. I think he is from the Planet Slovenia..
Rebel A: Hey, is that a hologram of bears fucking?
Rebel B: OMG... Those aren't fucking bears.. That's wookie porn..

Thank you for the giveaway..