Fairfox: Do you still have a father?
No.
Fairfox: Funny father stories?
Mind you, the last time I visited him at the hospital with mother (they'd already been divorced for a while at the time) he was on so many painkillers that he kept falling asleep on the table. After his declaration that this was, in fact, a sleeping table, we were ready to give up. Eventually, mother was like, "Well, listen, we're leaving,
since you don't wanna have coffee with me!" Suddenly he was wide awake, looked her dead in the eye and went, "Oh, looks like I've kept my senses, at least!"
(She wasn't amused. I was and am to this day.)