"Stephen Hawking died tomorrow at age 76."

(Context here: Someone did a Google search shortly after Hawking's death, and while the death had already occurred, it was in a different time zone, so Google saw that the event had happened, but on a date in the future.)

Even then this might be a good experience for a day, but afterwards it's a pure nightmare being a sex slave without will to change anything in your life living far from your home, relatives and friends - Cadaver747

[url=http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Cheese_maker]Legendary Cheese makers are known to players for their versatility. They are capable of skillfully baiting traps, exploring fun-filled caverns, digging open magma pipes, meatshielding bravely defending forts from the goblin horde, and even making cheese.[/url]

Stop being a faggot and touch my balls.

Very late reply, but that's actually a good (and valid!) one. :)

My anus is open like a mouth of tired dog, and if you make an attack on it, it may make a release.

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"Average person bakes 86.718 octillion cookies per year" (I might be misremembering some of the decimal places here, but it doesn't really matter)

(Source: Cookie Clicker's news ticker; I have nearly 600 undecillion cookies right now.)

(octillion = 10 ^ 27, undecillion = 10 ^ 36, I *think* that's correct; correct me if I'm wrong.)

Steven Hawking himself would have appreciated that one, I'm sure.