As I piss, I realize that I no longer buy alcohol, I am only renting it.

Some of us are lucky enough to become MVPs; the rest of us are destined to be NPCs instead.

I get puzzled every time he just says "engage" to me. It's like he wants me to either start a fight, promise to marry, or occupy myself...

To be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's view's and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say...

When life gives you lemons, hand me an EpiPen, because I'm allergic to lemons.

Despite the failure that their relationship turned out to be, he could not deny the raw attraction that still existed between them.
"I'll always love you, Shoe Box That I Filled with Warm, Raw Liver and Cut a Hole Cut in the Side of," he whispered sadly. "But you've got to go."

I awoke today with the realization that I simply don't enjoy following the rituals and social gestures that mark the passing of a person from this realm of existence.

I guess I'm not a mourning person.

I finally got my great book. The one I've been waiting for for several weeks. As I walk out to do some spring cleaning I can't help admire myself for putting the book on the bookshelf.

Once is happenstance.

Twice is coincidence.

Three times is enemy action.

The whole thing goes from prosaic to pornographic if you mishear "mine" as "mime".

Like lacking imagination can make one twice as deaf but I'm not the only one in its sheer dullness, so stay awhile and listen, the blade tells many watery stories. Thus, I came, I saw, but then I changed my mind... And henceforth, like whispers in the wind, a timely monochromatic legend is born. Let's ban Dihydrogen-monoxide!

Rome: "Beware the Ides of March."

Washington, DC: "March, shmarch. Beware the Ides of April."

Less is more than more, but less is still the lesser among most.

So, less is more, but more more than more is, so more is less less, so use more less if you want less more. If less is more than more, most is more than less.

Because he's the hero that nobody deserves, but not the one everybody needs right now...

and so we hunt him... because he can take it... because he's not a hero... he's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...


He is; Peeping Tom!

Proof that x = 3

First, suppose that x != 3. From this, we can conclude that the sky is green, just like certain colorlees ideas that sleep furiously. Said fury reveals a contradiction, namely that something can't be colorless and have an idea. As a result, we can conclude that our assumption must be wrong; therefore y = 4. Q.E.D.

(Yes, this is nonsense, but it's supposed to be.)