Never stop mid

You should never get plastered and wander in your back yard and swaggle your **** around like a fancy European walking cane.

Never watch your drunk neighbor in the backyard unless you plan to join in on the fun.

Poor people don't have shoes.

On topic, never make a joke on the internet. EVER!

Never go scuba-diving with tear-gas in your oxygen tank.

Never allow Morrowslant access to your diving gear.

Never invade Russia in the winter...unless you're the Mongols.

Don't try to put on a fuzzy sweater over a bare torso when you've got your nipple spikes in.

Some do, but they are usually ratty/old or(possibly) stolen. o.0

Yup, because some(in general, not just here per se) cannot into jokes and/or think jokes are "serious business".

(Like all those who tell me or others to "think of others" while wagging their digital "fingers"....well to all who say that: Aren't we some of those others? Why not think of those you say such to before saying such? ;))
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On-topic:

Never forget to stock up on TP.....or else one could be up sh*t creek without a buttwipe.

Never drive like you are the only the on the road
Never forget to care about your grandparents. I bought an apartment in Abruzzo https://tranio.com/italy/abruzzo/apartments/ for my grandparents and they are happy
Never forget the best moments of your life

With what's going on, people might BE the only ones on the road at a given time. :\

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My contribution:

(With what's going on atm) NEVER take your time with your elderly loved ones for granted.

Never trust humankind. We're not at that stage of evolution yet.

Never carry a sack with a rabid badger in it.

Never let a rabid badger carry you in a sack.
...Actually, try to have as little to do with rabid badgers as possible.