Banned for being 3 minutes early.

Banned because it's better than being three minutes late.

Banned because the only punctual guys here are the ninjas. Damn them for always stealing the spotlight and making us edit our posts!

Banned for trying to self-ban, only to end up banning a random ninja instead.

^ banned, for during your recent cathartic catered "cateventure" for cats deep beneath the cathedral in the catacombs, a cataclysm led to a catastrophic cat fight, leaving them all catatonic

Banned because that was impressive lol. *gives a round of applause*

Banned for giving a standing ovation.

Banned because i bought the game Breakdown on Xbox and thought it was gonna be like Mirror's Edge but it sucks and i hate that and why can't it be good?

I blame you, raccoonman!!1!!!!

Banned for misplacing the blame on raccoonman. (Honestly, I think it'd be funny is J Lo's forum title is actually raccoonman)

Banned for revealing his identity.

Banned because he never told me to keep it a secret.

^ banned, because Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent told you not to

Banned for being one of those pale bloodsucking creatures. How are they called again?

Edit: Banned for interrupting me.

^ banned, because it looks as if all the blood has been drained from you

Banned for arriving on Earth via meteor ahead of schedule.