Banned because my date was a disaster.

Banned for not hiring a prostitute.

Banned for not sharing (slops).

Banned for sloping, whatever that means.

Banned for not knowing what *slops* is.

Banned, because i don't know what "slopes" means, either!

Banned because I don't know what it is either. We should form a club.

Banned, because you did not invited everyone to your club.

Banned for not sharing your orange club biscuits.

Banned for eating all the biscuits and also the cake.

Banned for eating urinal cakes.

Banned for mentioning urinal cakes while using a public toilet icon as an avatar.

Banned because I got 5 phone calls in a hour and a half and every stupid prick in the world calls me all the time every single day and no matter how many numbers I block they just don't ever stop and there's nothing I can possibly do about it so I'm endlessly tormented with no hope of it ever stopping so YOU'RE ALL BANNED!!!!!

Banned for thinking I was Dr Phil.

Perma-ban for running a club without a licence.