...knock.

WHO IS THERE? OH GOD WHO IS IT!?

It is I !!!!

I who?

Mmmyes?

Hope it's coming out this month - I mean, come on!

Sc-c-cr-a-a-a-a-pe...




Knock...




... knock.

Come on in. I just made cookies---OH MY GOD, NO, NO, PLEASE, NO, BACK VILE DEMON!!!! NOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOO, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh...

...


..


.

...
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'
...

Perhaps the most successful thread I've ever started...

... thump.

Ingredients
1 sheep's stomach or ox secum, cleaned and thoroughly, scalded, turned inside out and soaked overnight in cold salted water
heart and lungs of one lamb
450g/1lb beef or lamb trimmings, fat and lean
2 onions, finely chopped
225g/8oz oatmeal
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp ground dried coriander
1 tsp mace
1 tsp nutmeg
water, enough to cook the haggis
stock from lungs and trimmings
Preparation method

Wash the lungs, heart and liver (if using). Place in large pan of cold water with the meat trimmings and bring to the boil. Cook for about 2 hours.

When cooked, strain off the stock and set the stock aside.

Mince the lungs, heart and trimmings.

Put the minced mixture in a bowl and add the finely chopped onions, oatmeal and seasoning. Mix well and add enough stock to moisten the mixture. It should have a soft crumbly consistency.

Spoon the mixture into the sheep's stomach, so it's just over half full. Sew up the stomach with strong thread and prick a couple of times so it doesn't explode while cooking.

Put the haggis in a pan of boiling water (enough to cover it) and cook for 3 hours without a lid. Keep adding more water to keep it covered.

To serve, cut open the haggis and spoon out the filling. Serve with neeps (mashed swede or turnip) and tatties (mashed potatoes).

Don't forget to rest between the steps and wash your hands after each time you puke!!!




edit: this one is pure horror and only for cannibals:
Hippo stew
1 med. sized hippo
1 ton salt
pepper to taste
500 bushels potatoes
1000 gals. brown gravy
200 bushels carrots
400 sprigs parsley
2 sm. rabbits (optional)

Cut hippo meat into bit sized pieces. This will take about 2 months.
Cut vegetables into cubes (another 2 months).
Place meat into large pan and cover with gravy.
Simmer for 4 weeks.
Shovel in salt and pepper to taste.
When meat is tender, add vegetables.
A steam shovel is useful for this.
Simmer slowly for 4 more weeks.
Garnish with parsley.

Will serve 2.700 people. If more are expected, add 2 mall rabbits - this is not recommended
as very few people like hare in their stew.

A recipe for haggis is welcome in any thread of mine!

<i>"Knock on Wood"</i> :)

knock-knock?