user1point0: So for this contest, I decided to write my first limerick of a legend! Though it's more of an epic, a story of man's struggle against everyday life and those that oppose him. One of my favorites, though only the first part is written. Since it's my first one, be as anal as possible!
If You Can't Live Easy...
There once was a cop from a city
Who could best be described as witty
He was visiting his wife, Holly
During the time of all jollies
A far flight from his life, which is gritty
Her workplace was holding a celebration
For holding enough money to fund a corporation
But some terrorists attacked
And the personnel were all packed
But our hero was in a different location
The terrorist leader's name was Gruber
And he was quite the uber deluder
He used a fake out play
To acquire a 640mil pay
At least, until he heard an intruder
So the boss sent someone to intercept
But the cop was forced to be adept
He takes out the criminal
And his supplies proved to be minimum
But the bad guy's gun and radio, he'll accept
The cop thought he needed to show
That he was a worthy foe
He took the body with gloat
Sent him down with a note
That said, "I now have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."
The terrorists' confidence was spread wide
Calming the brother of the man who just died
But the leader had told him
Not to fall prey to his whim
So the brother must stomach his pride
The cop goes to the roof to call
And dispatch appears to appall
Then they said very boldly
That they answer emergency calls only
So he replied, "NO F**KING SH*T LADY! DO I SOUND LIKE I'M ORDERING A PIZZA!?"
At that time, the terrorists surprised him
He's trapped, and with his fate quite grim
But he escaped the hail of bullets
Leaving the terrorists a little more clueless
And dispatch finally goes out on a limb
Camera fades in to a policeman, a Twinkie buyer
Who claims that they're for his wife, the liar
Then he receives a code two
Claiming someone bit more than he could chew
So he took off as if there was a fire
The cop narrowly escapes the brother
By hiding in the vents, where the heat smothers
The policeman arrives
And he investigates with a strive
But the cop says, "No cavalry?. Oh bother."
The policeman made his contribution
But the cop felt he had a solution
So he broke an office window
Killed someone and then showed
That throwing bodies on a cop car provides noise pollution.
Suddenly the policeman had reason
To believe things are a little uneven
So he outran a machine gun
To call for help in the long run
This is gonna be one hell of a holiday season
"Welcome to the party, pal."