Can I ask you why you wanted to commit suicide?
this question also goes to any other guy or gal who contemplated it.

If you haven't been there yourself, then Its not going to be easy to understand. I imagine there are many reasons for committing suicide, but depression is what got me suicidal. I overdosed a few times. Got put in a mental hospital because of it. The mental anguish is unbearable, and there isn't much you can do about it. You hear a lot about people cutting, burning, or otherwise inflicting pain on themselves. That's because the physical pain seems to lessen the mental pain. I don't know why, but it just does. Its quite temporary though, but the mental pain isn't. I had 4 years of severe depression. Its really awful, and I can't think of anyway to describe it. They told me its caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. That information seamed so meaningless at the time, but looking back after its all over, it makes sense. Feeling that way isn't normal at all. Its not the same as when someone you love passes away. That kind of thing can of course trigger depression, but it isn't the same feeling as the depression.

I have worked with disabled teens, and many of them had mental health problems.

There's nothing sinister about people with a mental illness. It's just one side of them. They are individual people just like anyone else.

No there Is not!

What about David Berkowitz?

Oh I beg to differ. Are we not socializing right now, brought together by gaming? I use to get together with friends and total strangers to game, I met new people made new friends, good times. We use to talk in high school about gaming which often lead to other things during class breaks. We had people making and discussing games art too. I there were even FPS cult like groups at my high school.

Also Quake live player are very talkative. Actually there is a lot of socializing in online console gaming since most players have voice chat.

So ture. I have run into some people online who live in places like NYC, that mod the hell out of the elder scrolls games to fill their lack of exposure to nature. I always though games could be a good way to experience a place without going there.

To avoid intimidating people smile at everyone. Ya I know it feels weird.

Oh! I hate collectables in games. Well only those that are required to get something anyway other wise I ignore them. I bought the game for fun not to have more chores. Chores done, time for fun.

Indeed. I had a lot of people tell me for years that I was being "ungrateful" and that I "didn't know how good I had it" etc. My instinctive reaction from there on in was to 'fake' happiness - I'd be overly and inexplicably cheerful, or completely objective to the point of irritating bluntness. I was never myself - I never brought my unhappiness to the fore, because everyone around me had made it patently clear that they didn't want to see it.

It all came to a head in 2006 when I slashed my wrists and ended up in a psych ward for a year and then in out-patient therapy for another year. It was in those two years that I actually managed to discover "who I was", so to speak. I'd spent so long just playing the chameleon and adapting to what other people expected me to be that I really had no identity of my own.

My girlfriend, who I've been with for five and a half years now, has shown that she'll stick with me through thick and thin, good times and bad, and it's thanks to her that I've finally managed to find some stability in my life. Even when I relapse and have the urge to cut, she still sticks by me and doesn't falter.

It's amazing, the difference it makes when you have someone to stand by you like that. So many people take it for granted.

Sorry, it's rather personal. However, i'm over it now.

I only contemplated it twice.

Once was when my doctor prescribed Benzos for me and I became addicted to them as I took them on a regular basis. Two was when I lost my best friend and we stopped talking. It was partially my own fault so I blamed myself. Im better now but it still hurts sometimes. The right med combination really helps along with working out/exercise ;)

I used to work with a guy who had him as a roommate in college. Pretty damn creepy after the fact.

Yeah I'd like to comment on it further but it would be inappropriate (even for me) given the nature of this thread so I'll back off.