Sorry to hear that (and sorry for saying sorry).

I don't know, I guess I'd have to go with losing both of my parents within four months of each other.

I can't imagine going through this 5 times. You're stronger than I am.

No, I'm not going to raise him. He was stillborn, he died before drawing his first breath. I would have gladly done so otherwise.

It was over a number of years. And as things worked out it was a good thing as we eventualy split up. though granted the miscarriages could have been a factor in that.

In regards to the opening post, my understanding is that at first Namegoo didnt want to be a father but as time went on he did. Not wanting a child does not mean that you wont raise the child.

I think you're supposed to feel confused, hurt and possibly angry about it. I personally recommend getting down on both knees and cursing god. Especially if you can find a field and do it during a storm.

As for me, I think getting brain damage from a baseball bat as a kid, and dealing with 15 or so odd years of inappropriate psychiatric treatment for an undiagnosed neurological condition would have to be the worst.

I'm better now, but it's a miracle I managed to stay out of prison with a malfunctioning temporal lobe and little activity in the prefrontal cortex.

that's terrible! We are trying to have a baby too (and in my case, I also want one) but I can't imagine what you are going through right now.

My story: not even in the same ballpark but here it is: I used to have an amazing friend. I would even say my best friend. He used to go to Greece every year. When i was going to be 17 he would take me there and show me what he loved so much about this country together with some other friends. He died in Greece the trip before our trip (he didn't mind i guess to die in a place he loved, so i'm glad for that). Funny thing: we decided to still take the trip and a few days before the trip I got a terrible reumatic attack that could have cost me my foot (all is well now) so i couldn't go to Greece and to this day i still haven't been there.

Sorry, I missed the that part.

I know, but in my view I wouldn't want my parents to have "conceived me" if they didn't actually want to have a child and I feel the same for my possible future child; I want to be a parent before I enter that stage of my life. I guess my inital point is that I've a fear of being a poor parent so I fall back on the idea that I want to be (at least partly) ready for it rather than jumping into it impulsively because I'm in love. I mean no disrespect to others who feel completely or partly different than me.

As for personal tragedies or the likes I've none yet other than the small inconvenience happened on me during high school which led me to drop out. Incidentally that was a choice I will never regret, I only regret beginning too soon as I wasn't ready but I'm on a better track now at least.

Sympathy is all I can offer, I'm afraid. What personal losses I've suffered can't really compare, and I won't try to. The only thing I will say is that you and your wife/girlfriend need each other now more than ever before. I've probably fucked myself over more than life ever has, and not being able to share the pain was always a contributor.

there is nothing one can say in this situation, life is a bitch and it hits back and i had many faults that cumulated to life my life being a total bitch

I may have had a bit of a lucky/sheltered life, and except a parent suddenly dying I have had a relatively good life.

One thing I do remember, though, was from when I was a kid (about 5-6 years old). Through a twist of fate I got my hands on a lot of money (equivalent to £10), and I bought one thing I wanted my whole life (well, the last month or so) - a siren/loudspeaker you could attach on the bike. It was loud and bright yellow, and it could imitate police, fire and ambulance sirens. I cost all my savings. A few hours after I got it home, my brother decided he could use it when going fishing, by sticking the speaker part in the water and "call" the fishes to bite on his hook.... it was the only thing I ever wanted, and I managed to own it for a few hours before it broke down...

That's the best way of going about having a child. But sometimes life happens and you have to make due. One of us wanted him, so much so that my feelings about it didn't matter.
Your first comment twisted the knife, but I'm not angry. Not at you, anyway.

Thanks. The relationship was doomed awhile ago, unfortunately. Or fortunately, I'm not sure anymore. I guess that's why I made this thread, just making sure I wasn't the only one who ever wanted to say "fuck you" to life.

Without going into details, all I can say is that I spent 6-7 years working on something and it all essentially went down the toilet. So many things went wrong during that time, but I kept persevering and doing my best. I got tossed around a lot, costing me a lot of time I needed for my primary focus. Didn't have the little guidance I needed, but even so I stuck with it. Still, that apparently wasn't enough.

It sounds silly and I'm partly to blame as well, but the circumstances were just so awful at times. It was a near soul-crushing experience. I came out with little to no confidence in myself or anything, really. On top of that I had a lot of other things happen at the worst times during that stretch. One particular incident revolved around getting backstabbed by some nasty people. Going through all this stuff was completely draining and defeating. I suppose it's life.

I'm not sure if this is what NameGoo needs to hear, but all of my frustration over these years cannot possibly compare to what he's going through. Please take care of yourself. If there's one thing I learned, solitude usually made things worse. Being around people can be therapeutic - as long as they are the right people.

Oh god.

I'm sorry for your loss. Though I'm afraid I can't say much in the way of comforting words since I can't really imagine what's going on in your head right now.

There are no words, NameGoo, no words :-(

Be easy with yourself and hugs....

As Momo said before me, there are no words. :(

As for my story, please check your PM, NameGoo.

Well, I feel a bit bad for not replying to each post individually, but this was made more to vent out my anger than to have an actual discussion. Still, thank you all for the kind words, for sharing your own stories and for making me laugh despite the situation. And to all who've shared a loss, my condolences.