"Hello. My name is Oliver Octopoda! You sushied my father"... Never mind, wrong plot.
Anyway, our adventurous octopus scurries along, in search of the fabled treasure:
The Fabled Bottle of Heavenly Delight.
Legend has it that a colossal squid reached up out of the ocean to snatch a bit of the sky, then placed it within a magical bottle that fell off a swiftly moving Unidentified Floating Object (UFO).
The reality of what was sought was far less glamorous - just an ordinary bottle of water with glitter, beaded stars and food coloring. It was the sort of thing that a human preschooler might make as a crafting project and could be more easily found elsewhere, such as at any human preschool that was actually still in operation.
Preferably one that is clean and well-lit by human standards, where the walls were not covered with vines or slimy lichen. But no. Octopus brain says let's go spelunking through an old, abandoned high school building. Bigger building means more treasure and better treasure, so it must be here. Surely the artifact of legend will be found in a place that also has dirty water just running across the floor like it's no big deal....
At this point, our hero pauses in the task at hand to ponder as to why the local water municipality didn't come along and shut the water off, then looks up. It was then that the giant spider webs were finally noticed.
"EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS!!!!" Oliver pulls out his gun, fires all three shots and the webs, then throws the gun at it, followed by the gun holster and whip. He also throws the torch at the spiderwebs before turning to run away to the nearest ocean.
He could still be heard shouting,
"NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE"