I find 4x and "Grand Strategy" games are very different. I love 4x games. I enjoy them. I don't suck at them. "Grand strategy" games, I always try. I always get bored with, and I usually suck at them from that boredom.
Age of Wonders 3 is a good start for a 4x game, except it skews heavily toward "plot" and "rush rush!"
Honestly, one of my favorite recommendation 4x to start with is currently Stars in Shadow. (
https://www.gog.com/game/stars_in_shadow). It's at that sweet spot of playability with enough complexity to how complex games can get. It's also not too "hard", but can get tricky. It's also actually fun. But, more importantly: it's shorter than a lot of 4x games to go start to finish in a complete session. That's important, since a lot of games in the genre really start to crawl as you play them longer.
For "grand strategy" games, the only one I've found myself able to play a whole game of without snoozing andor quitting is Evil Bank Manager (
https://www.gog.com/game/evil_bank_manager). Again, for a lot of the reasons I suggested for Stars in Shadow, but for the other genre.