I figured as much as well, so I reported the user to our new CMs....gotta nip potential new Babah Jees in the bud.

Never assume that a generic person's mother isn't abusive.

In general, never assume things about generic people, as any such assumption might not hold for a specific person.

Never assume that a product can't be DRMed because it's a piece of hardware.

(There've been reports of DRM or artificial restrictions in devices like printers, refrigerators, and even cars.)

Also, never connect something vital that could be used for nefarious purposes to the internet. In particular, devices like thermostats should not have an internet connection.

Oh, and if you're ever in charge of an election, never do vote by computer.

I disagree with this one.

On the other hand, I can say:
Never say the opposite of what you mean. (In particular, never use sarcasm.) Never assume anything about a generic church; how do you know the church doesn't have services that revolve around beer? How do you know the church doesn't host activities where alcohol is served?

Also, for the hopscotch thing, there are events like block parties and some holiday celebrations where the roads are closed down.

Hold a cat while washing dishes

never get married
people change with time not a problem if you don't have snow at all (middle-eastern Europe)
last one was somewhere in '90, these days it's just a delayed rain in solid form

Never change a running system

Do not start working for the UAC or accept any position on Mars or Phobos.

Why not? I would love to volunteer for permanent relocation to Mars. Unfortunately, they didn't select me... But i also didn't pay the 20 dollars they required, because i thought it was a scam (even though it said was from NASA).

Because you would likely end up as a blood sacrifice?

Never blindly follow advice given by strangers on the internet.

Never kick a man when he is down, he might get up.

Never ask how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Science requires sacrifices. Have you any idea, what attrocities have been committed, in order for modern medicine and medical sciences, to progress so much and so fast???

Never open a dos prompt and type:

format c: /q /fs:exFAT

Never trust a GOGbear!

^ You may have meant: Never drink a 2 liter Diet Coke followed by an entire roll of Mentos.

Never jump out of a perfectly good airplane unless you have packed your own parachute.