orcishgamer: If I understood the OP correctly she objected to the voiceover comments the females in DD made. It's been a long time but they were along the lines of "I've never needed a man to X. I'm better than all them men." They almost entirely compared themselves to men (or even came off as a bit man-hating, which most feminists actually don't identify with, despite popular belief). Again, I hope I'm not putting words in the OP's mouth or misrepresenting the dialog, it's what I recall about the game.
I played a male character so I don't know how DD played as one of the female character choices (I doubt there was much difference at all), but I can see being bewildered by those voice overs, they were pretty odd.
Apart from the clothing there's no difference at all and as someone else pointed out, even the clothing is not that bad, once you get your first gear (no bikini or underwear, just a few more leg or belly than the males maybe). The voiceovers at the start are pretty weird for the most part and don't have much to do with the actual game. The mage I played said something along the lines of:
"They say that I'm a witch because I'm a woman, and a sorceress, because of my good looks. To hell with them! I merit the same respect as any male mage! This land has fallen ill, and I will earn the admiration of the people by curing it."
That's the most acceptable female character of them all, IMO, but as you say, it is a bit weird that they all have this defensive attitude as if living in a harsh world dominated by males when the actual gameplay and setting has nothing to do with it.
It's really more of a Diablo clone with a little more story and questing, not a game where you get to play a role in the sense of a believable character.