^ Invent running then, it works for Usain Bolt.
< He's the fastest man aliie-ive!
v But can he catch an ostrich?

^ What would I want with on Ostrich?
< wonders if ostriches lay golden eggs
v Where would one sell a golden egg?

^ On the golden market of course.
< Wants to ride an Ostrich but weight ratios won't allow it.
> Breaking the rules of the game, just because Kirk did it first.
v What's in Your Wallet ?

^ Your old unused library card and a pound note.
< has no crypto currency
v Here, have this wooden nickel.

EDIT:

> Hey, you to my right! Why don't you post in this thread!?

^ Bites wooden nickel to make sure it's real, breaks the last front tooth left.
< Keeps a collection of bottlecaps just in case of SHTF.
> Can I make ammo cases out of cents & pennies ?
v Don't take any gifts I wouldn't take.

^ That sure leaves my options wide open!
< appreciates multitudinous options
v Never open suspicious packages from third world countries.

^ Especially if you hear a ticking clock or contains batteries.
< Waiting on the batteries punch lines.
> No Not THOSE.
v Never fight your onions.

^ My onions need to be taught a lesson.
< Finished Need 4 Speed: Most Wanted on PS3 this morning.
v How do I begin a Police Campaign?

^ a simple 'policing action" should suffice
< proof that perception is not necessarily reality
v post below

^ Garbage is a policing action.
< I don't do loitering (not misspell).
v Don't be lazy on the arrow down like the guy above me. Beard Lice Matter !

^ But being lazy is one of the best things in life
< How do I know? Arnie Conan told me so
v What is the sound of one hand clapping?

^ the same sound as no one replying to your post
< posted this silently
v Can you make an annoyingly loud post?

^ For tHe seCond timE liKe The War Cry. YES I CAN !!!
< I think the Gandalf look alike is also deaf.
> Gandalf was a dumbass wizard.
v LEARN TO CAST USEFUL SPELLS !!!

^ (casts a spell that helps you to tell how loud you do, or do not, yell)
< I wish that the above member had a shorter and more befitting username.
v Okay, out with it!

^ All zombies should have serial numbers for names.
< Flanders was a zombie too ?
> I shot the sheriff AND the deputy.
v WHAT DID YOU SAY SONNY BOY ?