You find you are being carted off to "Raccoon City". No, not what you are thinking, on Mars, the raccoon population became sentient first and are renowned as the best surgeons this side of Proxima Five.

Dizzily you listen for hints of the raccoons intentions, wondering where your four-armed doctor went. Does he have any grocery items that might get you out of this mess? At this point you realize you still have trousers, that your hands can get into its pockets, and there is a metallic bulge of something. Oh yes! With this you can escape! But should you? Maybe the raccoons are trying to help?

Eager you search, but then realize that the metallic bulge you have been examining is making the Tin Man in your room smile...

[I'll knock it off, sorry.]

Disgusted with your finding, you chuck the thing in a trash can, making the tin man cringe. You overhear a couple of raccoon doctors speaking:

"Oh yes, Nines' spleen would make a wonderful entrée."

You look at your hospital tag. It says Nine.

Yep, you're toast. Now what you gonna do?

You start to panic and fight the straps to no avail, despair begins to set in...

All of a sudden you hear a loud crash and see what seems to be a giant plant creature walking down the hall toward you

"Groot... he........sav... seven..."

All of a sudden the plant creature begins to grab the raccoon's pushing you

The plant creature- who may or may not be groot- beats the daylights out of the carnivorous raccoons. suddenly, you notice a raccoon on his shoulder, shooting at the other raccoons. Before you can say anything, the creature lifts up your gurney and runs through the hallway, giving you a nice smile. The raccoon on his shoulder says "don't worry bud, you're home free. probably."

A hand grabs the racoon by the neck and throws it away, through a nearby doorway. A wrenching scream wrents the air, and you hear a frantic scrabbling of being desperately trying to get away. Groot runs away warbling incoherently. Screams and gurgles mingled with thumps and the sound of breaking bones reaches your ears.

Then, unseen fingers undo the straps holding you down and as you rise up you see a seething Melina and a room full of dead and dying beings.

"Melina," you say, but stop as she turns to you, eyes furious.
"YOU! YOU UTTER BASTARD!"
"But," you manage to blurt out, "I didn't forget! I was caught in some mad gogventure.
Suddenly, Melina drops down sobbing. "You just don't care about me anymore! All these lies you tell, just to get out of buying my tampons!"

And to this you have no answer. The truth is evidently not enough.

You gently reach down and take her hand and seek out her eyes. "Look, come with me and you will see. We'll go to the shop together. If we make it past one more bizarre post without something completely insane happening, I'll probably die from shock."

Together, you and Melina make your way through the fourth wall and into the next post.

but not before Melina manages to slap you and say "I saw you and the tin man, by the way, you disgust me" . Then they ended up in the next post.

Rubbing your quickly reddening cheek, you turn to Melina and yell: "meta level", while you put your hand through the fourth wall, then proceed to pull in the pitch sheet for this very GOGventure. As you begin to read the premise to her,

Of course what you really really fear, since this is in space and a GoGventure is going through the fifth wall. Damn space and all it's extra dimensions!

After several tries in the wormhole tunnels, (the dimensions/universes with Earth-like atmospheres) you and Melina finally emerge in a normal looking world's supermarket parking lot. With a sigh of relief/reluctance, you follow Melina inside, hoping to get the dreaded shopping over with. As you watch Melina fill up a large cart with supplies, you wonder how you two will get it all home...and is home on Mars next to a Cthulhu now or was all that weirdness the result of eating that map? Did it have hallucinogenic mold on it or something?

Soon your bemused thoughts have to end, because Melina has shoved the full cart at you and demanded you get in line and pay for it all. She walks out the door leaving you in line behind the other humanoids. Wait a minute...is that guy grinning at you really sky-blue? Oh dear... If this is still an alien world, they probably won't take your currency here. You look around at the other customers, looking for more clues as to whether you will be able to pay for Melina's selections.

Strangely, even though you are on an alien world, your cell phone is still getting a signal. That extra $10 per month for the Intergalactic Package was worth it!

You feel your cell phone vibrating as you wait in line at the alien supermarket. It's a text from The Tin Man! He says, "Hey, do you want to get together real quick?" You try to ignore the text, but your cell phone vibrates again. Now The Tin Man says, "It will only take two minutes. I swear."

You exhale deeply and wish that you had paid closer attention before you "examined" The Tin Man's "metallic object."

Still in line at the alien supermarket...

You count, you are the 5'th in the queue.

You investigate the content of the shopping cart, and notice an absence of cheese. Idly you watches as the first person pays, and is taken back when you see he pulls out of a wallet some red pieces of cloth what looks like a couple of tentacles. The woman behind the counter takes the 'monies' and hands back 3 dead flies?

You take out your own wallet and open it. Inside is

..a piece of old parchment

The words look familiar but all you can think of at this time is how to appease this tentacled monstrosity as you are trying to purchase a cart full of tampons with not even a small block of cheddar in there.

The words! you suddenly remember..

At the moment of realization the piece of parchment starts rippling and expanding. Then purple waves of light start to expand from the newly formed book and remove everything in sight into blackness like a flame touching flash paper,..

You awake in a dimly lit cave with an old tome in your hand. Your tongue has a peculiar taste and there is a wet mark on the page.

What a trip!

You realise that everything that has happened has been an elaborate hallucination. In reality you were lying on the floor with your eyeballs rolling into your head, salivating and gibbering. You decide that you no longer want to perpetuate this silliness

You run back out of the cave the way you came, arms flailing about in the air and you keep going for 3 days.

You emerge from the forest on a mountain with a panoramic view of a futuristic looking city. You see lanes of hovercraft flitting about in minute flashes and a prismatic blend of neon like an aura around the cityscape.

You sally forth!

This is... have you landed in a future they promised us 30 years ago? Excited with that notion, you make your way down a mountain path towards the beckoning neon in the distance, humming contentedly.