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yet another bump

Gandalf promises you can get your magic book after the party visits Draak, so you agree to head there now. You are finally fully sober again, and looking forward to all your new adventures. When you arrive, the Shmoo slides in first, and you are relieved to hear a bellow of laughter before you even enter the room.

Draak looks every bit as tough as his name suggests, but right now he is having a great time roaring with laughter at the Shmoo's antics. While waiting, you look around his office, noting a necklace of garlic, large numbers of amulets, and large shelves filled with weapons, arcane jewelry, ancient tomes, and a package of llama treats.

Once Draak settles down, he asks your business, and you show him the dagger that so interested Gandalf.

"Interesting," he says, "and how did you come by this?"

You can't honestly remember that bit, its several pages back, so you just shrug and say, "Does it matter?"

"Does it matter?!" Draak roars "Does it matter??!!" Are you a fool, boy? The whole polarity of its power will depend on how it was acquired!"

"Oh"

"Honestly, dude, I don't remember" you reply, "I lost something like 3 intellect points back there"

"He isn't very bright, that's for sure" interjects Gandalf, "It took him over 20 hours to figure out how to open your front door"
You feel offended, but can't deny your obvious ineptitude, "Ok you walking copyright infringement" you reply.

Draak grunts, then heads into a back room, you start to follow but his glare makes you reconsider. "Have a seat, this will take me a while" he states, before disappearing through a nearby door.
You hear a clamoring and a few ripe curses from the next room, Gandalf is sulking and murmuring to himself at the nearby table.
"What now?" you ask.

" That whole damned copyright thing! You think I don't KNOW I can't be served a cease and desist?!"

"I didn't mean.." you start, "Whatever!" Gandalf shouts.

When suddenly...

*Dramatic Pause*.......

Beardo Baggins, Yolo Swaggins, Unwise Bambi and Poopin Took rush out of a side tunnel and nearly collide with the saucy old wizard Gandalf. "Fly, you fools!" he shouts and begins chanting a spell "ICKY ICKY SPRUZOING PRESTIDIGITONIUM!" and the four would-be adventurers fly into the air and drop off the edge of the world.

Gandalf looks at you and says, "Sorry about that, they keep following me." You continue to wait for Draak.

Draak exits the back room and without missing a beat tells you "That roof you ruined is gonna cost you"

"And so is all this extra work you put me through trying to determine the polarity of this dagger."

You glance at Gandalf nervously, Draak is an imposing figure, and a weapons expert, AND insane. Gandalf is conspicuoisly looking away, obviously distancing himself from the hobbit punctured roof and the price of the divination.

You turn back to Draak, "How much?"

"250 for the roof and another grand for the polarity reading, firm."

You check your recently found coin and sinkingly realize after your binge at the tavern you only have 86 coin.

"Umm I don't have enough, bro" you stammer.

"I thought not" Draak says, "Well, this leaves you in a predicament... The way I see it is, you can either get me my coin, or die screaming" "This dagger is worth a decent price, more than what you owe, and without my information is as useful as a rusty dagger. I could buy it from you, I'll give you what you owe, plus this Scimitar that burns reptiles and a decent set of enchanted +2 Intellect leather and 100 coin for it...."

"Or, I suppose you can sell yourself in the flesh district, A young lad/lass like you should be able to earn 40-50 coin a day there, if you bust your ass" Draak smirks. "I'll keep the shmoo as collateral AND the dagger if you wanna go that route"

At this Gandalf raises an eyebrow. Draak shoots him a glare and says "Before you get any ideas, know that you won't get out half a spell before I drop you dead" A look of revelation falls across Gandalf's face, and he quickly settles back into his chair. You are sure he just realized Draak isn't bluffing.

You have the choices to sell the dagger to Draak, or Sell your rear end in the flesh district for about a month.

Which do you Choose?

Two months later, you return to Draak. It really wasn't as easy as Draak made it seem. You barge back in, drop the coin on the counter and say "Gimme the damn reading"

Meanwhile...

Anatomy skill checks are +3
Fellatio skill level "expert"
Constitution -2
Wisdom +2

You earned 112 extra coins!

You walk "funny" and suffer from hemorrhoids for 1 full week.

Draak offers you a wide grin and says, "those two Tauren boys I sent over last month said to tell you to keep in touch"
"Here's what I can tell you about your dagger"

......

Draak tells you that this weapon is able to fully beat the "censor bleep" out of any enemy just by hitting them with it. Not only that, but it can also output a whole forcefield around itself which can turn enemies to dust, although that only happens if there are way too many enemies. it can also speak to other weapons somehow, and convince them to attack bad guys... if they listen.

After concluding business with Draak, Gandalf takes you aside.

"For this to be a proper adventuring party, it needs a 'face' person. Someone with Charisma, someone good at convincing others to do what they might not ordinarily do. That person surely isn't you. But I have someone in mind that fits the bill."

You think this is sensible.

Gandalf says, "Here we are..."

As you enter the tavern, sitting at the bar, the absolutely last person you wanted to see right now...

With daggers shooting out of her eyes at you, Gandalf introduces you to your new party member...

"I think you two have met. Here is your face-person, Melina"

"But she is not a person ! She is a sponge. On wheels !"

"Still an improvement, isn't it ?"

"Are you the one who wrote 'melina' on it ?"

But Gandalf has ceased to listen to you and waits for the sponge to say something. Which it doesn't. Because it is a sponge. Do you :

Wait ? (go to post 6)

Nag ? (go to post 134)

Get out of the tavern and slam the door ? (go to post 138)

you want to get out of the tavern and slam the door, but you worry that "going to post 138" would rip a hole in the fabric of space and time, due to the fact that post 138 does not exist yet. but soon, it will. soon, it will!